I was raised in a conservative Christian home and gave my life to God at a young age. I thought that I understood who God was and what Christianity was all about. Eager to get out of the house, I moved away to college when I was eighteen. After leaving the safe haven of my Christian church and home I began to honestly and skeptically consider my life and faith as I had never dared to question them before.
When I did this, I realized that my faith had become dead religion to me and I began to question if I had ever really believed in God. I had no idea where to find answers to the crucial questions I was asking about God and eventually I just stopped asking them. Trying to push all of those worries out of my mind, I decided that I was going to just live for myself without worrying about what anyone else thought of my life.
I felt so liberated until the day I realized how empty and meaningless my life had become. I had everything I could think of except a reason to live. Every day, I began spiraling further down into a deep depression. I lived with a constant desperation for anything that would make me complete.
While I was at my lowest point, a friend of mine consistently invited me to go to her church and I consistently turned her down. I had no idea what awaited me the day I finally gave in and went with her to church! I had experienced religion for 18 years of my life, but that day I met a very real, living God. Everyone was worshipping God when we walked into the church and for the first time in my life, I felt the presence of God all around me. At the end of the sermon, it was as if Jesus himself were standing before me heartbroken, asking me to come back to him. I was suddenly so grieved by what I had become and the weight of my sin that felt like it was crushing me. With tears in my eyes I prayed to Jesus and begged him to forgive me for turning my back on him. At that moment, I felt heaviness lifting off of me as the peace of God began to come all over me and I knew that everything was going to be okay.
God helped me to completely clean up my life and began to surround me with strong believers. He began to give me such a hunger for more of His presence in my life through reading His Word, praying and worshipping. Shortly after surrendering my life to God, He reminded me that He had called me to be a missionary. He then guided me to Heartland School of Ministry for spiritual growth and preparation for the mission field. While in Ministry School I felt God calling me to the Middle East. However, first He was sending me to the border of Mexico for my third-year missionary internship and further training for the mission field.
After much anticipation, in June of 2008 I went on my first month-long exploratory trip to the Middle East! I am currently preparing to move to the Middle East as a long-term missionary. I will be doing worship, intercession, evangelism and discipleship. I will most likely be working with children, youth and women. The details are still being worked out however my departure date is coming up very quickly